Let me start with the positive. Well not a positive but it’s not a negative… it’s like a medium-tive (is that a thing?) – Anyway. It’s not been a bad week. I could even say, its been an OK week. I’ve not got much to say really, nothing interesting anyway.
I’m really selling this to you aren’t I?
Also I feel as if I may have let you down. See when I typed this yesterday it was in fact snowing and I have made some references to this in this post. However its now Saturday and its not snowing, so I feel as if Im lying. So please, dont take that the wrong way – Im not trying to sell you anything, its snow for a start which Ive checked and has no value at all. Just please dont banish me to the eternal depths of Hell – Because thats not a real thing…
This is a long one, grab a drink oh and maybe some crisps, or a sandwich or some sort of yogurt? If you are going with the yogurt, make sure you use a small spoon, not one of those big spoons. People that use a big spoon with a yogurt…
I’ve been trying to keep as busy as I can, like super busy – Not in a way where I go and fight crime after work or empty peoples bins for them. Just busy enough to keep that little motor of mine away from bringing up the bundle of negative thoughts that are hiding away in the cave at the back of my skull. Ive poked a light down there, the thoughts are still there, hiding, cuddling up to keep warm, blocked in by a rusty old gate that is slowly deteriating- planning when they can jump out!
When I say busy, I mean work wise and just generally doing “stuff” after work, you know, like picking up the hoover, feeding the cat. Don’t get me wrong, I feed the cat when I’m in a good mood as well… Work is normally busy but there are always those times things die off. These are the times the little monsters hiding inside start to creep out of the shadows that the lurk in, start to run havoc, messing with my emotions, making me think stupid things – things that don’t even make any sense but yet I believe them.
But then at home, there are so many little things that need doing and as stupid as this sounds it keeps me busy, keeps my thoughts pointing in the correct direction, keeping that smile sitting on my face.
Still, let’s not dwell in to the things that haven’t been bothering me this week. Ive been good and the shadow dwellers, although still there, have no made an appearance. Not once.
I’m not sure why I even have the job I do. I’m not a people person. I can’t stand people, rudeness, people that expect me to wipe their behind all day and don’t even say thank you – it goes along way a thank you does. I must speak to hundreds of different people a day. Maybe that’s what’s winding me up so much?
I don’t see a job as a career, I can understand why people have this idea and if that’s what you want in life that is fine. I have a job to earn money. That’s why I sit at a desk for 9 hours a day, staring at a list of names and numbers, people that are just voices, I never see these people face to face, they are just names and voices. Nothing more.
Of course, I build friendships with these people, these customer. But they aren’t my friends and I’m not theirs. My goal is to sell them what I’m selling, their job is to retrieve what they want and then we both win.
Work has been taking up a lot of my time and my thoughts this week, both at work and at home. I’m not a big fan of change. In fact I can’t stand it. I struggle to get used to things and once something is done I like it to stay that way. So when change comes in, it messes with me. It shouldn’t, but it does and I can’t cope with getting used to whatever the new thing is. I can’t really go in to much detail, it’s basically about money and money is always a “confidential” subject – even if I am sharing this with the 3 people that read my posts. However I am one of those people that relies a lot on money, on income.
Money. I’m aware it doesn’t grow on trees and for those that go around saying money isn’t everything and friends / family are more important – I would have to disagree. Maybe yes, friends and family are more important but you must understand you would not be able to do a single thing in your life without any money – not a thing. Have a look around you right this second, in fact screw that… what are you reading this blog from? A computer? A phone, tablet? Money. Everything costs money, I would even say friends and family cost money.
Without money you are homeless, you can’t eat and you cannot live – Simple.
Now I’m not saying my job is easy, well it is, but it isn’t. Makes sense right? I know what I’m doing, but things don’t always go my way. I get paid to sell and selling is what I do.
I have to earn, I have things to pay for. Again, money is more important.
Talking about work, I’ve found myself coming in each morning with an annoying song in my head, humming it and ruining the days of everyone else. Hilarious I know but you know when you get that one song in your head, maybe it’s something you have listened to on the commute in and then you just sing it for the rest of the day. The most common song of this week was Rihanna’s collection of noises and sounds that represent a collaboration of vile noise – A song apparently but I beg to differ.
It would seem I’ve gone off on a bit of a tangent…
Back to work. Things have changed and its regarding money. I don’t know if it’s going to work out any better or even the same as previous schemes however it has changed.
That is why I haven’t posted, I’ve been thinking. Thinking hard. Working things out.
I’ve been meaning to write up my next “frustration” – and I’m hoping this will be coming sometime next week. Ive got a couple of things I wanted to talk about. Driving and drivers being one of them – I mean look at how this idiot has parked the other day…
On another note, it’s snowing. It’s actually snowing whilst I write this. Now snow isn’t rare in the UK. Its crap, mushy and pathetic but it’s not rare. However it is March so this isn’t that normal. I have only been roaming this large round ball of grass, water and trees for 25 years and I’m sure it doesn’t normally snow in March.
Just before I end this post, I would like to mention something and ask a question. Does anyone else eat finger food with a fork and knife? I get laughed at on a daily basis. I get laughed at because I can’t stand the mess, the unintentional crumb or bit of sauce landing on my finger – it makes me cringe!
Im talking about normal things.
You know like burgers, chips, ribs, fast foods… even doughnuts!
I have to have a knife and fork. I will be honest, I have a set of cutlery in my drawer at work for when the treats come out, so I can took in with pure cleanliness whilst my colleagues suffer with sticky fingers, dusty hands.
And that noise… the noise of licking fingers. I will shoot you. I will honestly turn around and shoot you. I don’t know what with. Maybe I will just throw a cup or a calculator at you but I will hurt you in one way or another.
Go and wash your hands!
So yes, an OK week and the weekend is next so that’s always a bonus.
Its still snowing…